Partial script.

Lucas walks into his friends bedroom, the door has to be forced open due to all the cans laying on the floor. He Finally wedges the door open enough to get himself inside, to see his friend chugging a can of mountain dew and throwing it on the floor.

Lucas, "Hey, whatcha... doin'?"
"Pounding it!" While cracking open another can, this time coca-cola.
"ya, I can see..." chugging noises ensue "That's disgusting. Anyhow, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm on a soda binge." goes back to Lucas starring at his friend. Camera goes back and forth between the two. his friend slowly opens another can of soda next to him.
"You are a horrible human-being. Why are you opening two?"
"Why!? and this one's prepped for a double chugger." he starts to drink the one in his hand.
"things like that, every statement you've made thus far is detrimental to the entirety of my being. Hence you are a horrible person."
"I'm not following you..." throws the one to the ground and picks up the other can.
"ya, please don't." Faint sounds of chugging come from the room. The door can't close from the cans stuck between, Lucas tries slamming it but the handle comes off.
Lucas exits the room and goes across the hall.

Lucas enters the other room, throws the broken handle in the trash, where a girl is reciting the Om and meditating.
"Hey Em, what's happening?" he sits down in a bean bag chair and lays back. The room's silent... for a while. The shot just sits in the corner with both people sitting across from each other. He looks at her for a while then lays down straight backwards. She finally puts her hands down, breathes in deep and breathes out, her eyes open. "Oh, hey man. I didn't know you came in."
Lucas sits up, "Damn, really? I had no idea that was so deep."
"Ya, I kind of loose track of time and what's going on around me. That's the point though, so I'm doing well. Did you talk to Core?"
"Ya, we was 'pounding it' and 'soda binging' as he put it."
"What a house hold."
"You're telling me. So, what's happening? Typically you've had a rough day when you're in such a deep meditation."
"ha. Ya, know that guy I was hanging out with?"
"uhh..."
"You know, the one you made fun of."
"OH! The fling thing guy."
"Har-har. We had a chat today about everything, it didn't go so well."
"ya? Run me through it."
"Why do you ask such things?"
"I don't know, I'm genuinely curious... just shoot."
"Alright, let's make some tea and go over it." They get up and move to the kitchen. Shots kind of follow them there. She grabs a bunch of stuff and starts brewing some tea up. Lucas sits down on the counter-top. Core walks through the kitchen real fast while putting on a jacket.
"I'm all out of my vices, need to run to the store, be back later. Bai." He's out the door already.
"Can we change the locks?"
"no."
"Why not?"
"We need the rent money and he's an alright guy. You're both annoying anyways."
"I am not that annoying."
"No you can be more."
"Lies! Give me one time."
"Okay, I'll give you three times..."
"Try!"
"Don't interrupt me. Number 1, it was 6 in the morning and you just made out with some girl. So you decided instead, to stay with her in your room that you'd come over to mind and tell me about it... through a loud speaker. Because you thought it was funny since that girl was my friend and I said you had no chance. I ended up winning because you ruined it for yourself. Number 2, all those pranks you pull on Core. I have to hear about him bitch. So when you locked up the cereal cabinet... or made him put orange juice in his cereal... or bolted down all of his stuff... rented his room out to a heavy metal band... and the time you sent him to the one place he never wanted to go. Ya, all me that has to deal with it."
Lucas laughing hysterically, "You laughed at all that!"
"Not all of it, not the loud speaker thing and that I can't have Ginna over anymore. Also, those jokes were funny the FIRST time. The jokes continue, I've had to hear about the same things for 8 months. Number 3, your coffee, booze and cheesy bean and rice burrito binge? Just last week, that was awful."
"Ok, it's not the same and Ginna can come over."
"It's not an issue of can or cannot. It's an issue of you."
"Alright, alright... you deal with more than I do. Now let's talk about this guy."

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"As I sat on the park bench in my Chuck Taylors and Buddy Holly glasses, cup of coffee in one hand, cigarette hanging from my mouth and a battered copy of "On the Road" on my knees, I felt I was trying way too hard.", unknown. I found this on the internet today through stumble. I laughed very hard.