Random thoughts, disagree.. I just couldn't sleep.

The world is not just some playground to roam as you please.
To think of it in such is arrogant and immoral.

To feel as though your perfect world would work can mean a good heart or it's inevitably gonna be a totalitarian society. What shall you do with those that disagree? Does your world collapse or does the disagreer (pretty sure that isn't a word, but it's the person who disagrees with said thought of as a perfect world... sorry.) get destroyed even denied access to what is "your" ideal realm?

Our Christian duty isn't just to love but to show Eternal Grace filled Love.

Organizations don't save a world, it isn't a living breathing thing. It doesn't change with the times. It's merely a wilting flower, perishing.

Do not place hope in man, place hope in God. Trust his spirit to work through people, if you deny humanity, you can deny Gods works even. It's just how you place hope, in a way. Perhaps, a passion in Faith.

Love is paradoxical. People are hypocritical.
God is love.
People lack understanding and obtain their own presuppositions.
Foolish enough to compare Gods love to our own.
Grace is for all and everything. Amen.

Unnecessary confrontations occur when you place your own dispositions and presuppositions upon others.

We are humans living, it's hard to do anything away from that.

1/25/10
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1/28/10

You can easily criticism me, I am not what I write but I write in hopes I can be such. There is no formula for life and if there was. Mine would be significantly different then yours.

It's easy to come to scriptures in an 'it' instead of Thou. In which it's more of get to know God in all we do. Where as an 'it' can just be some magical being that is at our beck and call instead. What would be Grace if we have a pixie to save the day? Once can say Jesus is like a magical pixie, until the point of choices to follow Him (away from Calvinism, the assumption is more of a Wesleyan background) where the pixie can just fix it.

There are transitions in Faith alone, the love your neighbor commandment is just a doing but can be a doing love (just loving as I'm told to), a need remember to love, it can be a love doing. Even a love loving. I fell in love with the commandment but it was more of a loving and learning who God is. He revealed Himself in the commandment and in my Loving others. Alse he revealed Himself in the ones I love. I can find more of Him in everything around.

"I used to wonder where You are, but now I wonder where You're not!"
I pray I can do this.

real event

4:39 p.m. January 14,2010.
Olivet - Common Grounds

I'm sitting in the far back corner (left) of the café de le sol commando grounds. I sit with my back to the exit door that no one uses. For what it has been the past days, it's nice outside but still cold. I can feel the uncomfortable cold on my back but the heat coming from the vents (perspiring occurs) in the front of my body. Goosebumps amongst chills in the back. Yet my body is to confused to decide on which as a constant. Neutral Milk Hotel pumping from the iPods small speakers in the center of the table. Next to my journal, Works of Love and cellular phone laying atop it. Across from that is Brocks' History of Ancient Philosophy book, with headphones astray on the table. Also Brock is here, well not currently. He is away to the water closet Also Known As the restroom... I wonder as to why it's called the restroom... technically no resting is involved. The water closet is confusing as well. Anyways, I digress, we sit here in a café', midwinter, no coffee (no drinks at all actually), reading and discussing.

Ugh... I'm starving.
4:52 pm - 8 minutes ti'll 5:00 pm
- 23 minutes ti'll dinner.
I'm famished.

mediocrity.

Mediocrity is a killer, the stabilizer of the spirit to absolute zero. The force to create an ‘I and It’. A pull back into the false-self of the self. Which is a mask of the same, a safe-self away from silence or pain or suffering (maybe), some mediocre mask with subtle differences, but always the same as the rest.

Purgation can occur, some divine ray of contemplation. Crack in the mask from a relation or conversation with the Thou, calling us in our dark state to make a crack in our mask of complacency. Any shining good only comes from the Lord but a change in our being. A “Great Perhaps” of what our life can be. For that what our heart or soul could be. A consistent battle between what our real and false self could be (in which a choice can be made.)

The false is quite tantalizing it isn’t an easy choice. We have a simple point of self-deception to cheat ourselves out of the best thing, Love, a graceful Love. The full passion of Christ (coming from a Christian pre-supposition.) There is a self-deception of us doing the right thing. But there is a living such a thing that changes active engagement. An “everything makes sense in light of the faith you now have. There’s a boiling point of Faith. Living experience of Faith transforms your rationality.” Until this point, the thought is quite unthinkable, unless you are reborn.

For most (people) such things are not instantaneous. The Ray of darkness in the dark soul takes time. Long days of silence, conversing, prayers, readings, and even frustration with tears. In a personal statement once seeing in (a great perhaps or the self –deceived perhaps), one finds himself in troubled strife’s with himself and all around him. It’s hard to turn back.

Hoping one day to have God face to face with our soul.

Seeing the eternal Love face to face. A love that never blossoms in doom it would one day perish. To perhaps one day comes through such turmoil into a manifestation at contemplation, speaking, and action (perhaps in stages.)

References from:

-Kierkegaard

-St. John of the Cross

-John Green

-EL Bible