Random Thoughts.

I feel as though the people we idolize and we try to be like or emulate. Wouldn't want us to do that to such a degree we do. We can learn and relate, using bits and pieces. That happens everyday, borrowing chord progressions or lines of songs... but we don't mirror image it. That isn't me or you, that's them and their position. Not mine. "It ain't me, babe" could mean to me, it ain't me, it's God. To where it could be, it ain't me babe, not really sure who it is... if it is a him or a her or a them or an it... it's something else. Ambiguity to the extent of, it's just about anything you wish it to be.

St. Francis wouldn't go, hey be like me... he'd say, be like Jesus and what the true-self that is in you would be. Jack Kerouac wouldn't want you to use his book as a handbook into his idiocy or intellectual beat ways, however you see that. I don't wish to be like Bob Dylan, to where my art takes over and nothing else is me besides that one thing. I could just be presuming far too much though and I cannot speak for these people, so in a way I selfishly speak for myself. From where I am at.

There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"

I'm no old fish to tell you the water or what that is... or what temperature makes it luke warm or what percentage of salt makes a sea, the sea. Not here to say that the water is your reality as a fish and you've been missing it the whole time. I can in no way say what your waters are or will be. I can let you peer into what I've seen and the waters I've been through and share those moments, those infinite moments at sea or the nostalgic past where bees, broken glass and ex-girlfriends I don't talk to can't pull me away. I could also show the murky waters of the broken glass, ex's and poor decisions along the way.

But in no way would I want you to be just like me, express art how I do or divulge in life as I do exactly. I feel Kerouac and Dylan would agree. You're happening and don't let that happening stop, dig what is around you, but don't do it for the norm of that group or that you are trying to pull into some inner artist you wish to push out. Being surrounded by the weird doesn't make you an artist or surrounding yourself with spiritual people doesn't make you spiritual. Tolstoy surrounded himself with thinkers and writers, just to realize it's pretentious and tedious. They wrote for their own indulgences in groups and couldn't careless of the world around. Thomas Merton didn't want his books to sell, he'd try and write them different so they wouldn't go anywhere. I doubt he'd say, live like me. I wish to stray away from those who say such things. Follow Christ for the paths that were paved for you from the dirt and sand, for He knows the path for you. Beauty is all around to learn from... from fire breathing rings to pop artist shows.

So I'll try and be me, whoever that is...
even if that is quietly watching and analyzing... understanding something I may never get and joining in when the feeling strikes me. Not so curious as to jump right in to everything possible searching for all experiences, for somethings... I'll just take heed and learn. But never stray away from the oddity of it all, but I don't necessarily need to jump head first.