first gen. iPods...

Blogging...
seems​ to have died with the first​ gener​ation​ iPods​,​ you know the ones,​ with no video​s and were like 5 pound​s.​ It had the scrol​ly wheel​,​ that'​s what made it cool.​.​.​ they are still​ cool but now you can touch​ the scree​ns inste​ad.​

I digre​ss,​ in the age of twitt​er,​ youtu​be,​ and being​ able to updat​e every​one on your statu​s regul​arly;​ the idea of writi​ng in a publi​c journ​al seems​ obsol​ete.​.​.​ even thoug​h I trudg​e forwa​rd,​ not for the want of a reade​r (​even thoug​h some day I'd like to actua​lly write​ in a more,​ novel​ like forma​t and have peopl​e read it) but for the const​antly​ forev​er bette​ring of a writi​ng style​.​

If histo​ry tells​ me right​,​ langu​age and writi​ngs have been the best tool for under​stand​ing civil​izati​on.​

Random thoughts, disagree.. I just couldn't sleep.

The world is not just some playground to roam as you please.
To think of it in such is arrogant and immoral.

To feel as though your perfect world would work can mean a good heart or it's inevitably gonna be a totalitarian society. What shall you do with those that disagree? Does your world collapse or does the disagreer (pretty sure that isn't a word, but it's the person who disagrees with said thought of as a perfect world... sorry.) get destroyed even denied access to what is "your" ideal realm?

Our Christian duty isn't just to love but to show Eternal Grace filled Love.

Organizations don't save a world, it isn't a living breathing thing. It doesn't change with the times. It's merely a wilting flower, perishing.

Do not place hope in man, place hope in God. Trust his spirit to work through people, if you deny humanity, you can deny Gods works even. It's just how you place hope, in a way. Perhaps, a passion in Faith.

Love is paradoxical. People are hypocritical.
God is love.
People lack understanding and obtain their own presuppositions.
Foolish enough to compare Gods love to our own.
Grace is for all and everything. Amen.

Unnecessary confrontations occur when you place your own dispositions and presuppositions upon others.

We are humans living, it's hard to do anything away from that.

1/25/10
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1/28/10

You can easily criticism me, I am not what I write but I write in hopes I can be such. There is no formula for life and if there was. Mine would be significantly different then yours.

It's easy to come to scriptures in an 'it' instead of Thou. In which it's more of get to know God in all we do. Where as an 'it' can just be some magical being that is at our beck and call instead. What would be Grace if we have a pixie to save the day? Once can say Jesus is like a magical pixie, until the point of choices to follow Him (away from Calvinism, the assumption is more of a Wesleyan background) where the pixie can just fix it.

There are transitions in Faith alone, the love your neighbor commandment is just a doing but can be a doing love (just loving as I'm told to), a need remember to love, it can be a love doing. Even a love loving. I fell in love with the commandment but it was more of a loving and learning who God is. He revealed Himself in the commandment and in my Loving others. Alse he revealed Himself in the ones I love. I can find more of Him in everything around.

"I used to wonder where You are, but now I wonder where You're not!"
I pray I can do this.

real event

4:39 p.m. January 14,2010.
Olivet - Common Grounds

I'm sitting in the far back corner (left) of the café de le sol commando grounds. I sit with my back to the exit door that no one uses. For what it has been the past days, it's nice outside but still cold. I can feel the uncomfortable cold on my back but the heat coming from the vents (perspiring occurs) in the front of my body. Goosebumps amongst chills in the back. Yet my body is to confused to decide on which as a constant. Neutral Milk Hotel pumping from the iPods small speakers in the center of the table. Next to my journal, Works of Love and cellular phone laying atop it. Across from that is Brocks' History of Ancient Philosophy book, with headphones astray on the table. Also Brock is here, well not currently. He is away to the water closet Also Known As the restroom... I wonder as to why it's called the restroom... technically no resting is involved. The water closet is confusing as well. Anyways, I digress, we sit here in a café', midwinter, no coffee (no drinks at all actually), reading and discussing.

Ugh... I'm starving.
4:52 pm - 8 minutes ti'll 5:00 pm
- 23 minutes ti'll dinner.
I'm famished.

mediocrity.

Mediocrity is a killer, the stabilizer of the spirit to absolute zero. The force to create an ‘I and It’. A pull back into the false-self of the self. Which is a mask of the same, a safe-self away from silence or pain or suffering (maybe), some mediocre mask with subtle differences, but always the same as the rest.

Purgation can occur, some divine ray of contemplation. Crack in the mask from a relation or conversation with the Thou, calling us in our dark state to make a crack in our mask of complacency. Any shining good only comes from the Lord but a change in our being. A “Great Perhaps” of what our life can be. For that what our heart or soul could be. A consistent battle between what our real and false self could be (in which a choice can be made.)

The false is quite tantalizing it isn’t an easy choice. We have a simple point of self-deception to cheat ourselves out of the best thing, Love, a graceful Love. The full passion of Christ (coming from a Christian pre-supposition.) There is a self-deception of us doing the right thing. But there is a living such a thing that changes active engagement. An “everything makes sense in light of the faith you now have. There’s a boiling point of Faith. Living experience of Faith transforms your rationality.” Until this point, the thought is quite unthinkable, unless you are reborn.

For most (people) such things are not instantaneous. The Ray of darkness in the dark soul takes time. Long days of silence, conversing, prayers, readings, and even frustration with tears. In a personal statement once seeing in (a great perhaps or the self –deceived perhaps), one finds himself in troubled strife’s with himself and all around him. It’s hard to turn back.

Hoping one day to have God face to face with our soul.

Seeing the eternal Love face to face. A love that never blossoms in doom it would one day perish. To perhaps one day comes through such turmoil into a manifestation at contemplation, speaking, and action (perhaps in stages.)

References from:

-Kierkegaard

-St. John of the Cross

-John Green

-EL Bible

A first pass at ongoing thinknig.

The revolution, a new era to an on going story; Begins simply inside ones self. In the deep dark corners and also amongst the people around now (thoughts of changing the world is great, but you can't change much if your can't treat your neighbor with love.) Finding humanity more and more, with justice and truth, staying clear of cold scholasticism and stale self-logic, or being in isolation from others...But prayerfully seeking, loving and bonding with Christ in others (people) and ourselves. Transform our love into actual deeds. If lucky, be good examples and live in a Christ like nature. A revolution from our own sinful ways, I pray I can do that.

“A revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love. It is impossible to think of a genuine revolutionary lacking this quality.”, Che

To perform a peaceful revolution needs great passion and spirit (or Faith: ‘fear and trebling.’) far more than an armed revolution. Patience is a key, one cannot instill passion and fervor in others for such a cause. Perhaps only a seed can be planted but that means ‘large doses of humanity, a large dose of a sense of justice and truth. Meaning, the only true revolution can occur after getting to know the masses.

What does this say? Simply that the length of time it takes to create a peaceful revolution is a long daunting process, but also seems impossible due to the fact there is far more armed tactics for revolution to go by. From the start it seems impossible, No. Just much harder and the process is longer or even won’t happen besides a crack of peace here and there. One could die before any ramifications are made... the reward is seen in the distance; or not seen at all. Failure or not, a change is made even at the smallest point.

Once again the beginning of a revolution starts within the person. So like many others that traveled their country to learn more, it seems great to follow in their footsteps. To trek across the nation talking to those in hard times and good times. Journaling all we hear, asking questions of what could be better for the people we wish to help. A revolution wouldn’t start from wanting it, it just happens while out among the masses. To come to a point of being as Che said Fidel, ‘having a dialogue (with the people) is like tow tuning forks whose vibrations interact, producing new sounds. They vibrate together in a dialogue of growing intensity until they reach the climax in an abrupt conclusion crowned by our cry of struggle and victory.’ Such things should not go ones head, this isn’t your movement. You’re a vessel of God’s showing passion and love, with letting it be yours it’s to easy to have power corrupt you. ‘Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.’ for what you create can be easily taken. Most revolts end with the oppression that began it. ‘The law of the state is that in order to save the state even the innocent must be sacrificed... The death of a single man from among the least of men is an event more important and more tragic than the death of a state or an empire. It is unlikely that God notices the death of the greatest kingdoms, but the death of one man does not escape him...’ Berdyaev.

What can be said of that? Two things come to mind,

Walking through Chicago

So the last I had returned to Chicago I was with Brock... we took the train up and had to make it in time to catch the next one... about 12 blocks north. So, we sprinted it. Which reminds me, we should have worn better shoes. We sprinted just to realize that we didn't need to, because we were 3 hours early. Why? Oh that's right, because we didn't read the train schedules properly. The listings are different from each train. So we decided to hang out and walk around a bit. I also left the book Slaughter House V sitting on a table before we left to catch the train we were early for... I'm dumb.

I digress, we went outside and talked a while.. and someone asked if they could use my cellphone to make a phone call. Of course I'll let her, she looked hurt and had a medical bracelet on. We talked to a guy she was with, apparently they had just met that day. She was waiting for a ride and he was I believe a wanderer who just saw the blue angles fly at the pier. He was a sweet dude and talked us into trying to go see the show the following year. From talking they seemed hungry so Brock and I went inside to buy them some McDonalds. While inside I saw this cool sweet dude hanging out with his kids. He bought them happy meals and he was messing with the toys, he was also reading Walt Whitman. Then we went back outside, talked some more and found out that we are almost late for our train. We had to book it to the train, as left Brocks book there on the ground... still send out my apologies Brock.

Then we visit Caitlin, eat some pizza and head on our way back... after I bug Caitlin. It's what I do.

I think the most truthful thing I can say is that I know nothing. I hardly know how to just love properly. If it's truely human to keep exploring, there is far more for me to learn everyday. Also, with the truth being ours where we find it and who knows what's good and what's bad... it's quite a journey.

There is this story I heard, there is this man and his horse runs away. The neighbor comes out and is like, 'what terrible luck! This is terrible....' and the man is un-changed by this happneing, 'Who knows what's good and what's bad.' Then the next day a herde of horses run up and into his ranching area and the neighbor is excstatic, 'Look, what a glorious day!' The man, still unchanged by this happening by these happenings, he isn't not sad nor excited. The man says once again, 'You know, who knows what's good and what's bad.' A little while goes by the man and son are working on the fences for the horses. His son falls from something, he ends up breaking his leg. The neighbor once again, 'what a terrible thing, your son... what are you gonna do?' The neighbor, father still unchanged, 'who knows what's good and what's bad.' A little while later a war starts and the mans son is passed up due to his broken leg, he is not drafted.... I'll end there, mainly because that is all I know.